The Snake out of Brixham

Our Around Alone correspondent looks behind the scenes of the Brixham stopover

Very few people can imagine quite how demanding it is to sail an Open Class boat single-handed. Consequently, The Snake is not going to attempt to describe the hardships, dangers and effort involved, leaving this to the skippers. What the competitors may be unable or unwilling to impart are the fine details and darker side of taking part in a singlehanded round the world yacht race.

With a monstrous, collective sigh of relief all the yachts in Around Alone have left Brixham bound for Cape Town. That the race is one of attrition is already evident. Class 1 American, Bruce Schwab ( Ocean Planet) arrived well behind the rest of the 60 footers having broken his boom mid-Atlantic. Short of time and money, Schwab managed to fit his new boom during the Brixham stopover, missing the starting gun by only a few hours. The Ocean Planet team were offering spectators the chance to be photographed with the broken boom for £2 a pop in an attempt to offset the cost of the spar’s manufacture and shipping from the U.S.

Just as extraordinary is the achievement of Japan’s Kojiro Shiraishi ( Spirit of Yukoh). Kojiro was the last skipper to arrive in Brixham having nursed his stricken 40 footer across from America. As I reported from Rhode Island, Spirit of Yukoh spent much of its time pre-race out of the water attempting to resolve dramatic keel problems.

The Japanese skipper consulted with Newport Shipyard for repairs to the yacht’s keel - originally a lifting affair that has since been fixed in place. Upon inspecting the keel the cautious yard machine shop refused to undertake any repairs unless allowed to implement them to their own safety standards. This would have involved altering the plans sent from France by designers Groupe Finot. Amid much pouting Finot refused to allow their design to be compromised and no work was carried out in America. This resulted in a slow first leg and hurried repairs in a local yard in Devon upon Kojiro's arrival. However, while being worked on in Dartmouth Spirit of Yukoh did receive a house-call from a Finot suit and, following modifications to the keel structure, has since been given a clean bill of health.

While in port competitors and teams have witnessed a broad spectrum of yacht racing behaviour from intense good will to deepest foul play.

A member of the Brixham Marina staff bought the diesel for sponsorless Class 2 yacht Spirit of Canada. A prime example of the seedier side of yacht racing was the debacle known locally as Garniergate.

Shortly before arriving in Brixham it became clear that Patrick de Radigues ( Garnier) had no idea of the finish line’s location, altering course dramatically to cross the line in third place. Only later did it become clear that de Radigues had received a cellphone call informing him of the finish line’s location. As soon as this information of outside assistance to a racing yacht appeared in a local newspaper, the fur began to fly.

Pressure was put on Emma Richards ( Pindar), who had finished in fourth place just behind Garnier, to protest de Radigues on the grounds of outside assistance, even though at this stage Pindar had already been in port considerably longer than the protest time limit of four hours allowed under Around Alone's Sailing Instructions.

Although the Race Committee have the right to protest a competitor under ISAF/RRS they were reluctant to do so and under duress Richards lodged a protest against Garnier and then swiftly withdrew it.

A last ditched attempt was made to protest de Radigues for not handing in his declaration form after finishing leg one in Brixham; an oversight that technically warrants disqualification, but it was never pursued. By this stage de Radigues had pulled Garnier out of Around Alone to enter the solo trans-Atlantic Route du Rhum.

Had a successful protest been made against Garnier and she been penalised or even disqualified then it may have put Pindar on the podium and gained them a valuable point. Whereas all this sorry episode has achieved is to shake the confidence hitherto felt by skippers toward the Race Committee over their ability to resolve a protest issue quickly and cleanly.

One predictable by-product of Garniergate was gossip, resulting in an unpleasant and unnecessary (the protest had been withdrawn) telephone call from the brother of de Radigues to Emma Richards - de Radigues himself does not speak good English. The Snake feels partly to blame for this having met frere de Radigues two years ago at a wild boar shoot in Normandy and should probably have popped a cap in his arse then.

A race organisation/committee is an easy and traditional target during a yacht race and Around Alone’s should be congratulated on the call to delay the start from Brixham by 24 hours. The wind strength across the pontoons on start day peaked at 55 knots with gusts that could turn a Jack Russell inside out.

The floating docks used by the Around Alone fleet became almost impossible to walk on and although the marina’s sea defences are considerable during the blast from the east the lightweight Open class boats all received a hammering. It can only be hoped that the damage inflicted upon Bernard Stamm’s hull ( Bobst Group Armor Lux) when the yacht mounted the pontoon during the height of the storm will not worsen with the punishment in store for the boats on the way to Cape Town.

As was the case in Rhode Island, the social nadir of the English stopover was provided by Pindar, throwing a party on their support vessel the converted fishing trawler, Hatherleigh. Those who have lurked around the Open 60 circuit long enough to have experience of a pre-race Pindar party on the Hatherleigh in Le Havre, St. Malo or Les Sables d'Olonne would all agree that the Brixham affair surpassed all others. Guests arrived from as far as, er…..The Hamble and The Snake is sure he spotted members of Big Brother and Pop Idol fighting over the karaoke machine and the one from Eastenders with the goatee beard asleep in the engine room bilge.

The party was to celebrate the twenty-eighth birthday of Pindar skipper Emma Richards and was co-hosted by Around Alone race yacht sponsors Tommy Hilfiger and HSBC with respective skippers Brad van Liew and Graham Dalton.

Unlike the Rhode Island party, Ocean Planet skipper Bruce Schwab omitted to bring his guitar and would have been pushed to upstage local band The Ambassadors, whose rendition of “Sweet Transvestite” (with appropriate costume) was sublime and the party thumped on until 6am. The following day the Around Alone pontoons were infested by stumbling characters resembling refugees from The Lord of The Rings.

What follows is a short linguistic guide aimed at those visiting Cape Town for the finish of Around Alone’s current leg and may assist in understanding a few, key Yarpie words and phrases. Those of you who wish to know more can buy The Snake’s forthcoming bestseller, “How To Talk Like Wilbur Smith” (an ideal Christmas present at a very reasonable £39.99):

JISLAAIK! An exclamation of amazement. If told that there are five handguns per head of population in South Africa the correct response is, “JISLAAIK! That’s a hang of a lot.”

IZIT: A useful conversational tool denoting understanding. When cornered at a BRAAI (barbecue) and informed that “American foreign policy is fundamentally flawed on many levels; diplomatic, economic, humanitarian and political” a perfectly acceptable conversational gambit is to reply, “IZIT.”

SHAME: A tricky one, this. If shown a baby (photo of holiday lodge, big game etc.) to say “Ag, SHAME!” does not infer that the child is ugly, but rather that it is a prince(ss) amongst babies. If the child is ugly the correct form is “SHAME, hey!” If the baby is truly hideous try not to exclaim “JISLAAIK!” as this will probably involve being ejected from the BRAAI.

LEKKER: Young Yarpie for cool, excellent, great. Almost everything seems to be LEKKER in Cape Town except armed crack addicts.

CAPE DOCTOR: Don’t be alarmed if someone expresses a desperate need for the CAPE DOCTOR as it is but the cool east wind that blows through the city keeping the inhabitants from homicide.

JAHWELLNOFINE: Combination of yes/well/no/fine. Appropriate when told that your BAKKIE has been repossessed. Approximately “Is that a fact.”

BAKKIE: Pick-up truck.

HOWZIT! Greeting of the blokey variety, suggesting that naturally things would be better watching some rugby or cricket with a load of CHINAS (good mates) and a lot of beer.

LEKKER BRAAI: A barbecue attended by many CHINAS, watching rugby or cricket with a lot of beer.

To infinity and beyond,

The Snake