The Snake in Brazil

Our forked tongue correspondent brings us up to date with Around Alone and provides insight about G-strings

The Snake wishes to make a formal apology to all those involved in Around Alone for the past rudeness and gross lack of respect. For a man who takes a personal EPIRB to his local fish restaurant and once suffered a panic attack on the West Cowes to East Cowes chain ferry, to denigrate the inspiring achievements of the competitors or the accomplishments of the race organisation is entirely inappropriate.

Since the start of Around Alone in New York the last six months have produced some outstanding sailing. In Class 1 we have witnessed superbly consistent racing by Bernard Stamm ( Bobst Group-Armor Lux) and Thierry Dubois ( Solidaires) with dogged determination from Stamm in overcoming dramatic delamination problems in Leg 3 before arriving in New Zealand and canting keel failure on Leg 4 remedied by a swift and highly organised pit-stop in The Falkland Islands.

In the final stages of the most recent leg, Dubois threatened to shoot himself (fortunately, Solidaires carries no weaponry) with frustration at the relentless chase Stamm was making having re-started racing after repairs in Port Stanley. Dubois then made a drastic sacrifice to ensure that Bobst drew no closer, but setting fire to the stuffed kiwi toy he had been given in New Zealand failed to change his luck and Stamm took line honours at the finish. It is little consolation to Dubois that the 48 hour time penalty applied for stopping in The Falklands drops Stamm to second place in leg 4.

Graham Dalton has had a nightmare Around Alone. Hexagon dismasted soon after leaving England on the transatlantic, solo delivery/qualifier for the race and was forced to return and hire Kingfisher's spare rig and Vendee Globe-vintage sails. After an impressive Leg 3, third place finish in his home country, New Zealand, Dalton broke his ultra-fine boom a few days before rounding Cape Horn in a crash gybe and limped to an anchorage off Tierra del Fuego for a rendezvous with his shore crew.

With a repaired boom, Hexagon restarted racing only to dismast within a week northeast of the Falkland Islands. From this point the Kiwi skipper’s misfortunes spiralled out of control. Short on diesel Dalton was forced to drift slowly north on the 2 knot Falkland Current until gaining assistance from a massive, Uruguayan fishing boat. This, sadly, did not herald a change in luck and while transferring fuel to the yacht a line became fouled around the Open 60’s turning propeller. A diver from the fishing vessel was unable to clear the line and Hexagon was left to drift again; full of diesel, but powerless.

The calamitous events were brought to an end (almost) with the arrival of The Argentinian Coast Guard and a tow into the northern Patagonian resort town of Puerto Madryn. While under tow, however, a further fault was found with the yacht’s canting keel mechanism that could, unchecked, have severely damaged the boat as the keel swung loose and unrestrained. With Dalton’s retirement from Around Alone his sponsor, HSBC, have handed over the role of Global Education plenipotentiary to stellar, British sailor Emma Richards.

Richards is third overall in Class 1, ahead of Italian skipper Simone Bianchetti on Tiscali by a single point, and has delivered a world-class race; slinging Pindar around the planet in a display of impressive sailing and boat management, leaving her shore crew with little to keep them busy during the Brazilian stopover. The 28 year old’s unfaltering bravado in her prolific messages from the yacht and unshakable will to overcome any setbacks have landed Pindar’s small, but perfectly formed skipper with a sponsorship deal from frozen food giant, Bird’s Eye.

Class 2 leader, Brad van Liew on Tommy Hilfiger Freedom America has also sailed an immaculate race, winning all four legs. His boat, like Tiscali, Pindar and Solidaires is in excellent shape and should ensure that van Liew completes Around Alone as the first American to win a solo circumnavigation race.

Class 1 skipper, Bruce Schwab, was forced to pull into the Falklands for boom repairs and sailed Ocean Planet into Salvador shortly before fellow American Tim Kent (Everest Horizontal) who, again, takes second place in Class 2 behind van Liew.

Three Class 2 yachts are still racing and Kojiro Shiraishi on 40’ Spirit of yukoh will arrive over the weekend, while Bermudan, Alan Paris is 600 miles behind the Japanese skipper, bringing BTC Velocity cautiously along the coast with damaged rigging. Derek Hatfield and Spirit of Canada are in Ushuaia on the Tierre del Fuegan shore of the Beagle Channel awaiting a replacement rig to be shipped from Buenos Aires. Hatfield’s dismasting off Cape Horn will not prevent him from completing Legs 4 and 5.

Brazil’s national slogan, embroidered proudly on the country’s flag is “Ordem e Progresso” (Order and Progress). Frankly, these two notions are so alien and absent here that the motto may as well be “Beavis and Butthead” or “Burger and Fries.” When a young man’s thoughts turn to Brazil they usually collide with the national costume; the G-string or “fio dental” (dental floss) as this excellent, cultural icon is known locally. In a country where the magazine 'Corpo e Plastica' (Your Body and Silicon) sells more copy than 'Cosmopolitan', a day on the beach or a night on the town is fraught with dangerous possibilities.

A night out in Salvador can be a noisy and colourful paradise or it may develop into a tropical Blair Witch Project. While a number of the shore crews have had encounters with juvenile street crime, your correspondent has, through abject cowardice and considerable guile, avoided any brushes with the local scumbags. This is perhaps due to a gibbering, dribbling and foaming at the mouth routine employed when approached by anyone over seven years of age.

One zone of sanctuary is the Yacht Club of Bahia. This secure, sprawling, air conditioned, waterfront complex in Salvador’s suburbs is pure 1970s Bond. The Snake is convinced that he spotted an impeccably groomed Roger Moore quiffing around the swimming pool, rubbing Factor 30 onto sultry, Latino double agent, Waxmi Bikiniarea, while a sinister and undersized Knick Knack clone hovered nearby with mind manipulating cocktails.

Mr. Bond is unarmed as there is a “no guns” policy in the club and a noticeable absence of people selling sunglasses, suffering from medieval skin complaints or with non-binary limb counts. Neither are there any purveyors of pharmaceutical or homeopathic party enhancers that proliferate outside the guarded gates of this illusory dreamland.

Yours, in floppy hat and hammock, The Snake