Cross dressing

Scary Caffari-King morphing taking place on board Aviva

Concern had been mounting within the Aviva shore team over the past few days as communications back from Dee Caffari and Nigel King had taken a dive into unchartered territory. The audio from video and podcasts being sent from the boat were not quite as expected with Dee’s voice increasingly deepening and Nigel’s becoming slightly higher pitched than normal. We put this down to the odd weather systems they were encountering and perhaps poor satellite connections.

To add to their niggling worries, they then had a request to book Nigel in for a waxing session immediately on arrival in Brazil as his legs ‘desperately needed doing’ and reports from the tearful co-skipper that cat fighting had broken out between them when Dee had commented that he had ‘really let himself go’ in recent days.

Nigel revealed that he could not understand why Dee was being so mean when he was doing his best to keep the boat sailing fast and in addition to racing he had been left to cope with all the chores on board. As he commented between sniffs ‘she just doesn’t understand how much pressure I am under to keep the boat clean, do all our washing, put a decent meal on the table and attempt to look after my appearance in extremely difficult conditions. My friends at home would be shocked at the state of my hair and nails but I get no sympathy whatsoever from Dee.’

When Dee was confronted with Nigel’s anxiety, she shrugged and said ‘shut it woman and put the bloody kettle on.’

Our worst fears were confirmed by the arrival of these shocking pictures taken aboard Aviva as they crossed the equator earlier today.