The Snake

Our slytherin correspondent looks into sportsmanship

Last month, 12-year-old middle school student, Will Hopkins, won the US National Sportsmanship Day essay competition. This young Texan impressed the event’s organisers - the Institute for International Sport - with a very mature insight into the less savoury aspects of sport and suggested causes for the current rise in poor form. “Many people blame unsportsmanlike professional athletes” debates Hopkins, “but I think we learn this behaviour just about everywhere we look: at home, on television, and in public.”

Although Will’s family are probably less than overjoyed by this public declaration of bad sportsmanship 'at home', he raises a valid point: is the often excruciating behaviour of pro-sportsmen merely a reflection of universal, sliding social and moral standards and evidence of a ‘win-at-all-costs’ culture? Perhaps, though, the ability to cheat has a more fundamental root.

In America the NBA, NHL and NFL (basketball, hockey and American football to Old World-ers) have cracked-down on player misconduct through the implementation of fines: a decision that netted the NBA over US$4m in 2001. Since then, levels of misbehaviour, intimidation, cheating, fooling the referee, tampering with equipment and cases of intentional violence are less frequent. This said, Joe Horn, wide receiver for the New Orleans Saints, was fined US$30,000 in 2003 for over-cooking some finely choreographed, post-touchdown celebrations. Horn plucked a cellphone from the goalpost padding and pretended to call his friends. However, with an annual income of US$1.8m, it is unlikely that the fine will effect Joe’s sense of humour.

Meanwhile, Europe is preparing for the Football World Cup - to be held in Germany - and FIFA (Fédération International de Football Association) are mounting an offensive to curb the endemic bad sportsmanship within the 'beautiful game'. Central to this issue is the custom of 'diving': essentially, this involves theatrically throwing oneself to the ground when challenged by an opponent, then writhing around in mock agony hoping to gain a free kick, a penalty or the challenger’s removal from the pitch. The tactic is so prevalent that many British newspapers have launched a 'Dive Watch' campaign in the hope of exposing and shaming the sport’s worst offenders pre-World Cup.

FIFA president, Sepp Blatter, is determined to punish divers: “It is betraying the players and the referee. I’m in favour of red cards [instant dismissal] for diving”. One player singled out for special attention is London club Chelsea’s dive master, Didier Drogba: a player who has embarked on a ceaseless crusade with gravity. Drogba will wear the Ivory Coast colours for the World Cup and his unsporting talent for falling over may not endear him to his African colleagues or the game’s authorities. Curiously, the cultural origins of diving are obscure although Alan Stubbs, a player who has represented English club, Everton, and his native Scotland, is convinced that the crime developed outside the British Isles: “It has crept into our game lately” he commented, “but it’s a foreign thing.” Of course… blame it on Johnny Foreigner.

For racing yachtsmen, the Regulation Rules of Sailing (RRS) provide RRS Rule 69: Allegations of Gross Misconduct. Having been part of a crew threatened with Rule 69 should details from witnesses to a certain high-profile, mid-Atlantic, racing scandal and cover-up ever reach the media, this rule is a particular favourite of The Snake….you’re off the hook this time, amigos. Rule 69.1(a) states that a protest committee may call a hearing if it “….believes that a competitor may have committed a gross breach of a rule, good manners or sportsmanship, or may have brought the sport into disrepute”. Honourable sentiments, but an edict that is seldom applied.

The most recent incident to approach a Rule 69 bloodletting took place during the closing stages of Leg 3 in the current Volvo Ocean Race (VOR) between Melbourne and Wellington. Neal MacDonald, skipper of VO70 Ericsson Team Racing, exploited the rules and chose to stop for repairs before crossing the finish line; neatly - and legally - using shore crew and equipment that would have been forbidden had Ericsson completed the course and incurred a two hour time penalty at the start of the subsequent leg. A slick piece of gamesmanship and an object lesson in studying the rules, you might think. However, the VOR skippers were divided over the spirit of MacDonald’s manoeuvre: Bouwe Bekking of movistar regarded the tactic as a “bloody good thing” while Mike Sanderson of ABN AMRO One and Torben Grael, skipper of Brasil 1, took a dim view. New Zealand skipper, Sanderson, regarded the Ericsson debacle as “taking the piss” and “just not cricket” while Grael dismissed the incident as “dishonest” and “dishonourable”. Any sense of pay-back experienced on board MacDonald’s yacht after the committee boat, start line fiasco during the Melbourne In Port race was short lived and the British skipper has paid the ultimate price, handing command of Ericsson to John Kostecki at the end of Leg 4 in Brazil: a decision that has proved thoroughly underwhelming. In a remarkable turn-around MacDonald has since been reappointed.

Far from infringing any VOR rules or transgressing the ideals of good manners, sportsmanship and behaviour trumpeted so worthily in RRS Rule 69, the Ericsson Affair raised interest in the event and offered a glimpse of the human conflict and strength of emotion within the race. Offshore racing fans who require more than Virtual Spectator and ‘Quotes From The Boats’ to quicken their pulse will fondly reminisce the carnage of the 1997-98 Whitbread Round The World Race: three skippers resigning ( Toshiba, BrunelSunergy and Chessie Racing), one navigator jumping ship ( Toshiba), invalid protests for not using navigation lights ( Toshiba v EF Language), DSQ for engaging the engine mid-leg and then replacing the scrutineer’s seal ( Toshiba), failure to execute a 720° penalty turn (er….. Toshiba), etc., etc. It feels as though the 2005-06 VOR has been trundling on for longer than many marriages and it is now an appropriate time for some marital discord.

So, questionable sportsmanship occurs in contact sports and the non-contact variety and is clearly not a national trait. Is it a matter of money, glory, prestige and a quest for eternal fame? Michael Schumacher is undoubtedly history’s most successful Formula 1 driver, yet his racing career has been marred by controversy. In 1994, Schumacher was involved in a number of incidents, most notable of which involved Britain’s Damon Hill at the Australian Grand Prix. Racing for the Williams team, Hill arrived in Australia just one point behind Schumacher until an error by the German was followed by the calculated ramming of the Williams car, forcing both drivers out of the race. Although Nigel Mansell and Williams won the race, Schumacher took his first world title. Three years later, naughty Michael decided to take out Jacques Villeneuve at the European Grand Prix in Spain. Villeneuve’s car was badly damaged in the collision, but he managed to continue racing while Schumacher retired and was swiftly disqualified from the championship. Coincidentally, at the 1999 Canadian Grand Prix, Schumacher, Villeneuve and Hill all span off and crashed into the same wall: a barrier carrying the signboard “Welcome to Quebec”. One can only wonder if the trio met afterwards and had a jolly good laugh about trashing Formula 1 cars…..probably not.

After a brief period following the path of righteousness, Schumacher lapsed at the Austrian Grand Prix in 2002 and – following the orders of Ferrari team boss, Jean Todt – he threw the race allowing team mate, Rubens Barrichello, to win. Austrians are acutely aware of the possible repercussions when obeying the commands of power crazed little men: Schumacher’s behaviour proved too much and the crowd boo-ed Ferrari off the podium. After a hostile reception at the subsequent Monaco and Canadian Grand Prix events, the team continued to monkey about at the US Grand Prix. For reasons that probably make perfect sense on Planet Ferrari, Schumacher backed-off the gas within meters of victory intending to force a dead heat with Barrichello…..strangely, his Brazilian team mate was declared winner by 0.011 of a second.

Staying with the theme of wheeled racing, it is important to confront the business of Lance “He Whose Coming Was Foretold” Armstrong, the 1999 Tour de France and EPO (erythropoietin). It is clear that anyone who undertakes the Tour de France without some seriously strong narcotics is clinically insane (The Snake cannot cycle into the nearest village and collect his Sunday newspapers without the assistance of crystal meth) and the event has a history of inventive drug use/abuse. Shortly after the race originated in 1903, the substance of choice was alcohol (it’s France, for heaven’s sake) although sophisticated cyclists chose ether for some extraordinary reason. In 1967, a British competitor, Tom Simpson, died on the way up Mont Ventoux in southern France due to the effect of amphetamines, but 1998 and the 'Tour of Shame' proved to be a landmark in sporting drug misuse. Wally Voet, a member of the Festina team, must have alerted the Gendarmerie as he rattled along on his bicycle, positively glowing with a cocktail of growth hormones, testosterone and amphetamines. Wally's arrest and the ensuing Police raids on hotel rooms occupied by Tour members caused a sit-down strike by competing cyclists (it’s France for…etc., etc.).

To prevent further pill popping and the startling likelihood of male cyclists with prominent breasts and dangerous mood swings, the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) swooped on the Tour de France, significantly reducing performance enhancing drug use. WADA - a noble and global force, dedicated to the collection of sportsmen and women’s urine, stools and blood - have successfully driven this modern brand of unsportsmanlike conduct underground…..until the French sports publication, L’Equipe, started digging around. Immediately after Armstrong took his seventh Tour championship in 2005 – his first Tour after defeating testicular cancer - the newspaper revealed that the American legend had proved positive for EPO during the 1999 edition of the race. Lack of any duplicate sample from 1999 and a shambles at WADA failed to confirm the claim and the case against Armstrong was dropped.

Many Tour grandees, including Eddy Merckx, supported the American’s claims of innocence, though it is confirmed that in ’99, Armstrong tested positive for triamcinolone present in a skin ointment to limit road rash and saddle sores: the use of which Armstrong illegally failed to declare pre-race. This blunder and his known association with the doping doctor, Michele Ferrari, have made many suspicious of this phenomenal and courageous athlete. Whatever the case, during an interview with The Statesman, Armstrong revealed that he may enter the 2006 Tour “to piss the French off”. Excellent.

It is superficially evident that lack of sportsmanship is exclusively a Man Thing. Indeed, America’s Josephson Institute of Ethics has spent years researching the subject and reports, conclusively, that girls are far more sportsmanlike than boys. Their intensive study proves that 94% of females questioned agree that “playing the game fairly and honourably is more important than winning”. The figure for a corresponding male opinion is too shaming to print. Researchers from Josephson may have chosen convenient sample groups to prove their hypothesis; a Jehova’s Witness Workshop and a crack den, for example, but reality suggests that the female capacity for unsportsmanlike conduct is thriving.

In common with croquet, pétanque, and a vigorous game of backgammon, golf is generally considered a civilised, sunny and benign game. Clean clothes, sobriety and impeccable deportment are mandatory. However, any self-regulated sport is open to exploitation and golfing women provide definitive evidence of female ingenuity and guile. In October 2000, Loch Lomond hosted the Solheim Cup with the women’s European team led by Annika Sörenstam of Sweden (ranked world #2), paired with Janice Moodie of Scotland. Trouble started at the 13th Hole. Paired against the Euro-Duo, American competitors, Pat Hurst and Kelly Robbins claimed that Sörenstam had played out of turn. After a blazing 10 minute row followed by tears on the green, the shot was replayed and the US went on to win the hole and the match.

Afterwards, European Team Captain, Dale Reid, maintained that Sörenstam received “the nod” from the American pair and had consequently continued to play. Reid also questioned why the US players had not intervened while the Swedish player was lining up for her shot. Stunned by the turn of events, Sörenstam stammered a statement following the match: “It is just really sad to see that ugly part of them [Hurst and Robbins] came out, because Pat and Kelly are the nicest they have [sic] and it is sad to see that they don’t even have sportsmanship.”

This sophisticated, golfing gamesmanship seems tame when compared to the warfare encountered in Figure Skating. The 1994 US Figure Skating Championships served as a warm-up for the Olympics, held later the same year. Two female ice-maestros dominated the field: Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. Harding represented the blue collar corner; a whiff of the trailer park and a troubled childhood. Kerrigan gave the wholesome - if somewhat distanced - impression of being raised on a diet consisting entirely of Werther’s Originals. During a pre-championship practice session, a hired hitman took a large piece of wood to one of Kerrigan’s knees…..and all Hell broke loose. The baseball bat swinging thug was hired by Jeff Gillooly, Harding’s ex-husband. It is entirely likely that a mini-series has already been produced charting the heated build-up and fallout of this emotional train smash: if not, executives at Fox and Miramax deserve emasculation.

At the Winter Olympics, Kerrigan took Figure Skating’s Silver Medal having swiftly recovered from her injury while Harding scrapped through mid-place, eight slots below her adversary and was soon banned from competing, coaching and any involvement in the sport when her complicity in the ‘Kerrigan Hit’ became clear….after the Olympics, conveniently. Since ‘Icegate’, the pair’s fortunes have taken dramatic routes. Kerrigan retired from competitive skating after the ‘94 Olympics, although tickets are now available for her guest appearances at shows of the “Holiday on Ice” and “Bambi and Friends in Winter Wonderland” variety. Harding survived a brief career in pornographic movies, starring in an internet “Wedding Video” during which she was filmed having sex with itinerant ex-partner, Good ‘Ol Jeff Gillooly, before moving easily into professional female boxing. Her current hobbies include crashing trucks after big nights out, assaulting boyfriends, being assaulted by boyfriends and causing the police around Washington a heap of paperwork.

Awards for conspicuous displays of sportsmanship abound. Outstanding Olympians may be awarded the Pierre de Coubertin Medal, also known as the True Spirit of Sportsmanship Medal and named after the founder of the modern Olympics. The honour of this medal was bestowed upon Emil “The Czech Locomotive” Zátopek after taking three gold medals at the 1952 Olympics, sweeping the 5,000m and 10,000m field and winning the first marathon he had ever competed in having discovered a gap in his diary. With a more contemporary twist, Vanderlei de Lima, was attacked during the marathon at the 2004 Athens Olympics. Being pushed into the crowd by a deranged, defrocked, Irish priest while leading the field 10 kilometres from the finish bagged the Brazilian runner one of Baron Coubertin’s gongs.

Unsurprisingly, sailors did not feature at the National Sportsmanship Awards held in St. Louis last month and yachtsmen have been noticeably absent throughout the event’s history. However, the governing body of the US Sailing Sportsmanship Award 2006 recently presented the W. Alan Clark Jr. Trophy to a gallant sailor. It transpires that during a blustery US Offshore Championship in Annapolis, the race committee decided to lay an extra racing mark warning boats of some tricky shoals. Post-race, a competitor raised the subject, conversationally (not a formal protest), that the US Naval Academy Offshore Sailing Team had failed to round the late-placed turning mark. Without use of a polygraph, the yacht’s skipper, Midshipman Greg Storer, admitted to a navigational error, flicked the race and carried Clark’s pot from the award ceremony. Well….Three Cheers! and Congressional Medals of Honour all round.

European awards for sportsmanship present an intriguing problem: nobody wants to discuss the subject. There is, though, one beacon of sportsmanship spluttering in the waxy candelabra of athletic ineptitude that shines brilliantly: The European Fair Play Awards. In 2005 the Volleyball and Synchronised Ploughing Co-operative from Trencin, Slovakia, took the “Merit and Diploma” award while the prize for “Contributions Made to the Spread of the Values and Principles of Fair Play and Tolerance” went to Pranas Majauskas, Albainia’s Freestyle Gypsy Knife Fighting Champion, or – more accurately - a medal-winning, Lithuanian body builder).

It is natural that essay winner, Will Hopkins, or any thoughtful and intelligent 12 year-old on the planet, would blame society for the continued spread of bad sportsmanship. The recurring incidence of Man’s inhumanity - mindless terrorist attacks, corrupt politicians, illegal wars, unchecked famine, Hollywood action heroes threatening to eat their wife’s placenta etc., etc., - is a plausible, root cause. However, were this the case, the world would be populated entirely by opportunist cheats and immoral scumbags. The truth is, bad sportsmen are born crooked. It is a case of Nature, not Nurture.