Smack Down Under, another crap sailing video?

Andy Nicholson reviews the new film which tells the story of the RMW Team at the skiff worlds

I feel in a slightly awkward position. Apart from persuading new readers to The Daily Sail to part with cash and join the site, I have never had the opportunity to say impartially ‘Buy This’.

I am a real fan of high performance sailing, the skill of the sailors really impresses me, and my lack of skill in this area is probably the reason why I only get to drink beer with them and get to race water pushing dug-outs. This I blame on my parents who didn’t encourage me to chase girls in Toppers but cruise the Solent in a caravan.

So you could say that I am the perfect person to review ‘Smack Down Under’, a tale of the RMW Marine Team at the JJ Giltinan Trophy - the effective 18ft Skiff Worlds in Sydney two months ago, as this is about as close as I will ever get to racing an 18.

Given the DVD and the video to view at my leisure, it was good fortune that I decided to watch the DVD immediately, as the next day ‘my’ 28” widescreen, with all the knobs, was repossessed by a returning GBR Challenge sailor. I then had to fall back on old fashioned video technology for my second viewing and was just as engrossed - a good sign that this film doesn’t rely on Dolby THX surround sound to work.

Following our intrepid trio; Dan “danger is his middle name” Johnson, Rob “in charge of the which way stick” Greenhalgh and his brother “the slayer of females” Pete, the 85 minute film combines the personal story with the racing at the JJ Giltinan Trophy to it’s edge of the seat 0.3 point conclusion.



Pete is the least camera shy of the three and comes out with some superbly cringing lines. Just eight minutes in and we’re told: “I guess they call it a lay day because the general theory is that…you should go and get laid”. More of these lines later. After general scene setting stuff, establishing of the various characters involved, the film moves onto the racing.

In a sports bar style the whole thing is set to music, which all seems to have been recorded at the nearby Home nightclub in Darling Harbour. Commentary is by Vicki Butler-Henderson, the Top Gear presenter, who doesn’t hesitate to come out with the nautical equivalent of wheel spin noises. The commentary is, however, brief and stops a long way short of why the left hand side of the beat looked favoured. Initially this is a bit annoying, until you realise what you are watching.

Following each day as it unfolds the on-water footage is excellent and is simply the best advert for sailing in general I have seen.

Sunny, windy and with Sydney Harbour Bridge as the backdrop, watching the boats streak across the harbour is completely engrossing.

Although RMW Marine is our obvious focus of attention there is plenty of coverage of the other 25 skiffs taking part. Crashes, capsizes and the struggle for the bear away are all captured, but the simple view of an 18 sailing at Mach 10 with barely anything touching the water is what you get the most off. Heat five and we’re in the chopper for a bird’s eye view…

Back to Pete’s Phrasebook, on the morning of one particularly windy day, “It’s going to be all on for young and old”.

We get to go out in Double Bay one evening with the Brit Pack, where after discussing the waitress’s penchant for shaved testicles, Rob comes out with the killer line: “The aim is to go into the weekend with a good margin, so maybe we win with a day to spare”. Pete’s eyebrows nearly hit the roof and it sets up the film for it’s grand finale.

The final two races are nailbiters, with defending champion Howie Hamlin rapidly closing in on our trio’s regatta lead. At this stage the film moves onto being a proper racing film, with Vicki upping her word count and the editing of the race ensuring the viewer gets all the key moments. You probably know the outcome.

It’s a good all round story, which seems to be balanced well between hanging out with the Greenhalghs and racing action. Dan appears as the middle man in all senses of the word and we do get some juicy shots of him having the stitches in his forehead taken out.

The humour is there, with the gang sloping around in the flat and cruising around in the rental with a ‘Bonnet Cam’. It’s not until the end that you realise just how much the event meant to the three and you seem to forgive them for their earlier displays of testosterone.

Watching the boats racing you really get to see the immense effort and skill required to get these machines around the track. In this sense the film will be of great benefit for any aspiring dinghy sailor wanting to watch and learn.

If you were to draw a comparison, it would be that the BBC’s coverage of the America’s Cup was Sunday League football, Iain May’s production here, does the sport and the viewer justice and is proper Premiership stuff.



The film can be bought on line at www.smackdownunder.com and costs £15 for the VHS and £20 for the DVD. Postage and packing extra.
The film is rated 15, for UK audiences, as it does contain some 'sailing' language.